I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
