i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
