Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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