why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
