everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
