chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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