my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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