My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
