did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
