i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
