Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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