Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
