Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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