i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if only i could text you this smell
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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