So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We need to rekindle our bromance
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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