Got a toothbrush?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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