ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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