Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She bit a glass in half.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
