i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
