you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found a bag of teeth...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
