i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
