dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
