Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
