awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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