On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
