I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
