He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
