omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
