Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
