Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
