next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
