talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
