Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
