How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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