ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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