listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We left the knife in your bed.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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