he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My vagina is very pro this idea
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