I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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