Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
