so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
