why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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