Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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