I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
