im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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