At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
