Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My life is pants optional.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
