I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
