i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
