is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
