i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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