Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
