Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
