Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
