This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
